


hey there demons it's me, ya boy

by rowenabane



Series: halloweenct [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Halloween, Mark Is a Ghost, Supernatural Elements, buzzfeed unsolved au, chensung are ghosts, only tagging halloween because it's october lmao, renjun wants to BELIEVE, skeptic jaemin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-23 10:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16157177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rowenabane/pseuds/rowenabane
Summary: The Neo Culture Tech Institute is supposedly haunted. Huang Renjun and Na Jaemin are here to investigate.(Or, the renmin buzzfeed unsolved au no one asked for)





	hey there demons it's me, ya boy

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to the mess I binge watched buzzfeed unsolved for 6 hours straight and wrote this  
> this is mostly a platonic au  
> please enjoy!  
> (renjun is on the left, jaemin on the right)

"Hello this is Huang Renjun and we are here-"

"You didn't introduce me."

"Okay, fine, this is Huang Renjun and Na Jaemin and we are here at the Neo Culture Tech Institute-"

"Also known as the spooky murder school."

"Jaemin if you don't stop interrupting me I'll-"

"You can't threaten me on camera."

"Okay, whatever, so we're here at the Neo Culture Tech Institute, where, fifty years ago, several students were killed in a  _mysterious accident_."

"There was a fire. It really isn't that mysterious."

"Well, anyways, since then there have been numerous reports of spirits in the building and other such presences. Parts of the Institute have been rebuilt in the past 30 years, but people have reported hearing voices and seeing ghostly figures."

"Not hard to see a ghostly figure when you're a student hopped up on coffee and studying until 3 am."

"Are you talking about yourself?"

"No. I'm just saying, if you're, you know, up really late you might, it's easy to maybe see things that aren't there."

"WELL we are going to spend a night in the Neo Culture Tech Institute to see if we can encounter any spirits."

"Wonderful. I've only had one cup of coffee today and I'm having withdrawals."

"What does that have to do with anything I just said?"

"I can't believe I'm going to be up all night without pure caffeine running through my veins. How am I gonna make it?"

"The fear will keep you awake."

"I fear nothing."

"You're a liar."

...

"So there have been several entities spotted in the Institute. At least four spirits have been identified by paranormal investigators. Ghost #1, also known by investigators as Mark, has been spotted in the East Wing of the building. We are there right now, trying to establish contact.

"Alright ghosty boy, come on out."

"I can't believe you, can't you just be scared like a normal person?"

"I don't know how to feel fear."

"Mark? Is there a Mark here? Are there any spirits here?"

"Mark is a bitch name. Who names their kid Mark?"

"Shut UP I'm trying to establish contact. I'm gonna use the spirit box."

"Please don't use the spirit box."

"I SAID I'm using the spirit box so the spirits can communicate with us."

"That thing is so fucking loud I hate it."

"Shut up. Okay, Mark? You can talk to us through this device. Are you here?

_*indecipherable static*_

"It's okay, you can talk to us. Are you here, Mark?"

_*mumbling static*_

"Holy shit Jaemin did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"You dumbass, the BOX. The spirit just said something.

"What did he say?"

"I don't know. Mark? Are you here?"

_You're a bitch_

"Wait, did he just call one of us a bitch?"

"Mark, I'm Renjun and this is Jaemin. Which one of us is the bitch?"

_Jaemin_

"Ha! Finally, someone said it."

"Is this because I insulted his name? I'm getting roasted from beyond the grave. Interesting."

"Mark? Are you still here?"

"I don't think he wants to stick around when I just insulted him."

"Great. You just scared off a real ghost. How does it feel to know that your skeptical ass has been wrong this entire time?"

"What do you mean 'a real ghost'? I'm pretty sure that was just some sentient wind."

"'Sentient wind'? This just in: Jaemin will do  _anything_  to deny the truth."

"Well, how about this - Mark, if you're a real ghost, push me down these stairs. I know you want to, I just insulted your name  _and_  denied your existence."

"I feel like it's a mistake to say that."

 

...

 

"So we just spent 10 minutes trying to make sure Jaemin doesn't have a broken back after a ghost literally threw him down the stairs."

"That was some awfully strong wind, not gonna lie."

"Wind? We just made contact with a spirit  _and_ he threw you down the stairs but you still don't believe?"

"Did Renjun say something? I don't speak 'superstitious bitch'."

"Superstitious?! I caught our entire encounter on video and you have the sheer audacity to stand there and tell me ghosts aren't real? 

"ANYWAYS we are now on the fourth floor of the building, which is supposed to be the 'most haunted'."

"Yeah. So apparently there are two spirits on this floor, and they are very active. They're known to play pranks on students on this floor - sharpie on the whiteboard, doodling in textbooks, that type of thing."

"Wow, what a mood. Nice to know ghosts have the same sense of humor I do."

"You have a sense of humor?"

"Ha ha. Shut up and communicate with the dead, dumbass."

"For the sake of science, I think we should split up so we don't scare the ghosts."

"And why is that a good idea?"

"Are you scared of some sentient wind, Jaemin? I thought you didn't know how to feel fear?"

"Shut up."

 

...

 

"So Renjun and I split up, I'm going to go through this floor first for about 10 minutes and then he's going to try."

"Spirits? Ghosty boys? Any of you guys around?"

_*distant laughter*_

"Thought I heard something, but since I am a Skeptic I'm just gonna chalk it up to this building being old as fuck and me having caffeine withdrawal."

"So, uh, spirits? What's poppin'? How are yall feeling today?"

_We want to play_

"Oh, that's cool? I guess? What do you want to play?"

_We want to play with you_

"I thought we already established that  _what_  do you want to play?"

_With your bones_

"Well that doesn't sound very fun so I'm gonna have to take a hard pass on that suggestion."

_*distant laughter*_

"Renjun told me that these two ghosts are known as Chenle and Jisung, and they're the 'prankster ghosts', so I'm hoping they aren't too serious about the whole 'play with my bones thing'."

_Yeah you're right we were just foolin_

"Ah okay, thanks. Well my ten minutes are up and I really enjoyed conversing with you have a nice night. Goodbye."

 

...

 

"So Jaemin's a big fat liar and he said 'yeah man I heard something but it could've been the wind and/or me hallucinating' and I look at the tape and he's deadass having whole conversations with the ghosts? I'm angry."

"Anyways, now it's my turn and I've got the spirit box but I don't think I need it. I'm just gonna send out some friendly vibes to the ghosts and hope they respond."

"Chenle? Jisung? Are you here? I'm Renjun. Would you like to say hi?"

_Hello Renjun_

"Holy shit okay that was a voice okay, hello! Who am I talking to?"

_I'm Chenle_

"Hello Chenle. Oh shit, I just saw something move and I really hope that was a bird or something oh my  _god_."

"IT WAS NOT A BIRD THAT IS A GHOST OKAY HELLO NICE TO MEET YOU SIR I'M UH-"

"Okay it vanished and now I feel bad because my yelling probably scared it. It? Him? I don't know."

"It's really dark. I can't see anything and I'm 90% sure I'm gonna trip on something but honestly what's new. Also, what the _fuck_ is that?"

"Oh my god. Two ghosts. Two ghosts, okay. Okay. Um, hello?"

_Let's play_

"Sorry I gotta go OH MY GOD THEY ARE TOUCHING ME EAT MY ASS SPIRITS I GOTTA  _GO_!"

_*distant, echoing laughter*_

_See you around, Renjun!_

 

...

 

"Wow, can't believe Renjun is a pussy bitch. Huh. Who would have guessed."

"Okay I was fine until they grabbed my arms I thought they were gonna hurl me down the stairs or something."

"They should have."

"I'll hurl you down the stairs if you don't shut up."

"ANYWAYS I think we can conclude that there is some weird ass shit going on at the Neo Culture Tech Institute and that's that can we PLEASE LEAVE NOW."

"Why? Are you afraid of the sentient wind?"

"I hate you."

"I hate me too."

"So we have concluded that, even though we definitely felt some supernatural presences-" 

"Some of us felt them harder than others, to be honest."

"SHUT UP,  _anyways_ , we have decided the mysteries of Neo Culture Tech Institute are better left  _unsolved_."

"Do you really have to say that every time? I hate it when you do that."

"Listen, our director writes that into the script, okay, I'm trying to stay employed."

"Well, for the sake of not being jobless, please continue."

"The Neo Culture Tech Institute is known for its haunted state, and today we experienced things that no normal human being has ever experienced, or would believe."

"Oh yeah I definitely  _believe_ it."

"SHUT UP JAEMIN OR WE ARE GOING BACK INSIDE THAT BUILDING SO MARK THE GHOST CAN THROW YOU DOWN THE STAIRS AGAIN-"

"Violence is bad, Renjun."

"ANYWAYS, until next time on Buzzfeed Unsolved!"

"Please watch our videos, we need to get paid."

"Please shut up.  _Please_."

"Can we go get coffee?"

"Fine, you over-caffeinated dumbass."

_*distant laughter*_

_See you next time!_

"You hear something?"

"NOPE, NO I DID NOT! Let's go! Let's get out of here."

**Author's Note:**

> a) buzzfeed unsolved has activated my galaxy brain ALSO HALLOWEEN IS COMING  
> b) every comment is a chapstick delivered to Jaemin please comment  
> c) hope you enjoyed!


End file.
